A sob fills up my chest and I do everything I can to hold it back, but it comes out as a hiccup. Tears start filling my eyes so I turn my head away. Ignoring people’s stares, I get up and leave the room rushing for the apartment door. In my rush to get out of there, I forget my coat but my brain doesn’t register the cold. I feel so numb. I’m pissed off; frustrated, sad as fuck, and anxious to the point I can’t correctly function. I can’t speak. I can’t move. I don’t know what to say or do. Everyone says things like, look at the bright side and there is so much to be happy about. Do they realize I don't have a choice? I am waiting, no hoping, that my phone buzzes telling me that he is wondering how I am or, at least where I am? Alas, nothing but the wind and public transportation makes noises. My breath makes smoke like clouds in front of me.